Heroes, Honesty, & Here Goes Nothing...
“You think you're the only superhero in the world?
Mr. Stark, you've become part of a bigger universe.
You just don't know it yet.”
- Nick Fury – Iron Man 2
I have spent a lot of time, months really, trying to convince you to become the best version of yourself. I hope you have both begun the process and enjoyed the journey towards “better”, and I sincerely hope that my previous posts have provided a necessary dose of inspiration. But like Iron Man, you are part of a bigger universe, and an investigation into your obligation to your universe is now required.
We all have a “sphere of influence”, those people who are somehow impacted by the gifts you share with them. Your gifts are different than mine, but could include your kindness, generosity, enthusiasm, or anything else that has a positive impact. But what is your obligation to your sphere of influence? And how can you positively impact them in a way that is meaningful not only to them, but also to you?
Your sphere of influence starts with your family and friends and quickly extends outward, like ripples in a pond, to co-workers and acquaintances, eventually ending with everyone else (even those you don’t know). But what is important when considering your influence? And where do you start?
I believe you build influence by first building trust, creating a feeling for others that “I am safe here”. That “safety” is not only physical, but also emotional, and creating trust and safety is paramount to my success as a Career Consultant and Coach. In fact, I have learned that I am often most successful when I am also most vulnerable.
With that in mind, I recently heard about an exercise designed to increase both connection and understanding between people. In this exercise, you replaced a simple greeting with a longer version which consisted of:
“Hello, my name is…... If you knew me, you would know…...”
This was followed by two similar statements but beginning with “If you really knew me” and “if you really, really knew me”. Each successive statement allows the listener to set aside the usual superficial things we share with each other and gain a better understanding of the person they are talking to. The idea struck me as simple, yet effective, and I thought I would give it a try today. Here goes nothing…
Hello, my name is Jason Boaz and if you knew me you would know that I am the PGA Career Consultant serving the Illinois and Wisconsin Sections. Prior to this role, I worked in the golf industry for over 25 years. I started by working with my father on the grounds crew at Gates Park Golf Course in Waterloo Iowa. He was a teacher and worked at the course in the summer-time. During this time, I served as an Assistant Professional, Head Professional, Director of Golf, Membership Sales Manager, as well as General Manager.
If you really knew me, you would know that my highest priority in life is my family. I strive every day to be a better person, father, and husband. I believe that there is no greater joy in life than being a father and husband. I also get great pleasure from seeing others succeed, sometimes to a fault. I work very hard serving others to help them become the best versions of themselves that if I am not careful it will take over my life and threaten what is most important to me.
If you really, really knew me, you would know that I have a wonderful 18-year-old daughter that is one of the most amazing people. I got remarried almost five years ago to a wonderful person and amazing step mother to my daughter. If you really, really knew me you would know I have tremendous guilt for the person I used to be. I am a recovering alcoholic that spent most of the first 40 years of life being a very selfish, self-centered person. If you really, really knew me, you would know that I just passed the 10-year mark of being sober. I have spent those 10-years following the will of my higher power to be that better person, father and husband to all the people I wronged in my life. Being an alcoholic, crazy to say this, has been a great blessing in my life. It has taught me that life is not about me, I am here to help others and follow God's will every day. The principles in Alcoholic Anonymous have had a tremendous impact on my personal and professional life. They have helped me do what I call create a new past every day. This new past is the way I choose to live every day and I ask my higher power to give me the strength every day to follow his will and not mine. Following his lead will help me be the person, father and husband I have always dreamed of!
What does all this mean and why would I share the intimate details of my life here with you? I do it because all of you lie within my sphere of influence. If you take the time to read my life hack advice, it means I need to keep earning your trust, and the only way to do that is to be transparent and honest.
I encourage you to embrace the idea and consider how well you know your people and how well they know you. My next post will discuss how you can best serve all the people in your sphere of influence as a positive force by simply allowing them to really, really know you, and creating the space to allow them to do the same in return.
Now, you really, really know me…
Jason Boaz, PGA, ARWC
PGA Career Consultant
Illinois and Wisconsin Sections of the PGA of America
PGA Certified Golf Professional
Advanced Resume Writing Certification